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Post by Red Moon on Oct 29, 2011 18:41:26 GMT -5
Note: This is not an OC. You can see her in episode 26, at one of the tables. The best Night Ever. First image. She's at the far back table on the left. All I did was give her a name, history and personality. Name: Dart Lockheed Gender: female Age: Young adult (Equivalent to 17 human years) Species: Pegasus Pelt Color: Light blue Mane/Tail Color & Style ( if applicable ): Yellow with orange (see pic) Eye Color: Orange Cutie Mark ( if applicable ): A Geode split in half that has amber gems inside with light shining outward. (The light shining represents the willingness to prove self to the older members, and the gem shows the characters potential to shine, even if still rough around the edges) Build: Agile Residence: Cloudsdale Occupation: Wonderbolt! Talents, Skills: Speed and, if she is paying attention, aerial tricks Motivation: Spitfire and Soarin'! Likes: Flying and racing, as well as adventure Dislikes: Causing problems and staying on the ground for long periods of time Character Personality ( optional ): uhh.... she is willing to do anything for the older Wonderbolts and loves attention and is careless.... kinda careless, also tomboyish. Bio (optional) : As a filly, Dart and her parents always dreamed of her being a Wonderbolt. (That's why the named her Dart Lockheed.) They had seen a poster of the Wonderbolts, and had long since watched their every show. Because Dart loved to fly, race and do tricks, they thought she would be a good Wonderbolt and persuaded her to do so. She often raced against older foals in Cloudsdale, and won. As she won more an more, she began to get arrogant and tried doing tricks in the middle of the races. To her surprise, she excelled in them! The Wonderbolts took her in, upon seeing her skill, and began training her a year before the Best Fliers Competition. When the Best Young Fliers Competition came around, she entered. Her attempt to win was horrible. She had tried too hard to impress the judges, and failed. Instead, Rainbow Dash won. How she loathed her after that! Yet, she also admired RD for her skill. Ever since the competition, making a Sonic Rainboom has been added to her mental to-do list, under joining the Wonderbolts. As a foal it all came naturally, but she tries too hard. They thought she could be the next star in their group if she didn't try so hard, so they took her into the group and started training her a year before the competition (as said before ). She's still training, but she has enough skill to wear the Wonderbolt outfit. She tries her hardest to impress the senior members, but often, too hard. Or she doesn't try enough. Unless she finds a middle ground, she ends up crashing into other members. Her latest crash left Soarin' with some broken bones.
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Post by Archaic on Oct 30, 2011 15:38:32 GMT -5
This Wonderbolt may only have been in the background thus far, but technically counts as a canon/background pony, and is therefore dealt with differently than this. The profile itself is denied, on the base that this is not how we deal with canon ponies, but please come into chat and talk to us.
Edit; In discussion about this. Profile is on hold.
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Post by Web Brancher on Oct 30, 2011 15:43:12 GMT -5
Ok, I'll try and give you some help for the character.
First think I noticed (and I may have gotten the wrong character, so correct me if I'm wrong), was the character looked like a stallion, not a mare. However, for this, I'll speak as if the character was a mare.
Name wise, due to connection to the Wonderbolts, traditionally use an aerial flight name (Soarin and Spitfire, althought the character of Surprise has seemed to sneak themself on the team), so I suggest either a name involving flight and airplanes (an interesting one for contrast can be Wunderwaffe, although depends on suitability) or even basing on an existing pilots name (Jester Maverick for you Top Gun fans)
For residence, a safe bet will be Cloudsdale, but any major city is also suitable (we don't tend to see top-tier flight ponies in Ponyville, now do we?)
Bio seems fairly solid, but if you would like to develop it, suggest into some detail about the character's youth; and even acomplishments, play along with your character personality.
Anyway, I hope I shed some light to guide you in the right direction and I hope the character shines brighter than a Buckineer Blaze (Ticket master reference)
Edit: Okay, so you decided on the name Lockheed; good, let's see how to work round that...
Alright the Cutie Mark, mentioning that you looked up to the older Fliers, maybe something to do with sunlight. Next with have a character with potential viewed from the other side, although still rough around the edges, although a stretch (taking influence from the movie Whisper of the Heart) a Geonite (a stone with gems inside Couldn't find the proper name)
So for a cutie mark, maybe on of those Geonite with Amber crystals inside (or any colured gem that would seem aestetically pleasing) shining light outwards.
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Post by Web Brancher on Oct 30, 2011 19:27:14 GMT -5
After reading the Bio, I have this vibe that the character is TRYING to imitate Rainbow Dash's story, but not quite. Subtle things like seeing a poster for them as a filly; or better yet, her parents knew about the Wonderbolts when they were younger, and was persuaded to follow that life choice.
I already made mention about the Cutie Mark earlier, and it's great that you taken forward that advice; expand on it, a Cutie Mark story is always awesome. Doesn't necessarily mean it involves geodes, but something that shown that this character had great potential (not necessarily flying either, which would make an interesting character detail)
Potential is a good thing, nothing wrong with that, and while it is possible she joined the Wonderbolts shortly after the Young Fliers Competition, I suggest that she was recruited MUCH earlier (somewhere around a year prior); that way conflict with cannon can be averted, and the character is at LEAST somewhat experienced enough to own a flightsuit.
Lastly, something which I should of made mention earlier, you may want to re-write character likes and dislikes; any little character detail really. Tomboyish doesn't really standout as a build, more of a personality trait.
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If your still struggling, then I can help you properly on a different day. Just ask on the chat.
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